New Computer Guru Summer Hours

Computer Guru Summer Hours

Having trouble finding me?  No wonder! 

Here are my new summer hours:

Open 10AM – 6PM Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays

Look forward to seeing you!

Steven Salemi
The Computer Guru
Santa Fe, NM USA

All This…And Cash Back, Too!

Hi Steven,

I’m really enjoying the computer I purchased from you. Great performance and quick. It seems that all the hook ups went easily and I’m enjoying the large screen.

So now taxes are due and I was wondering if you’ve sold the laptop(ibm) and the dell that I left on consignment?

Thanks again for making this investment an enjoyable experience.

Olivia

Who Needs Google?

Who Needs Google?

Everyone loves Google…right?  That’s my impression, based on the number of computers that come into my shop, with Google set as the home page.  Never mind that many of those computers were “set” to the Google homepage robotically/automatically (torn away from the default MSN home page, which was also set robotically-/automatically).  Do most users even know how it got that way, or how to change their home page?

As a free-thinking computer expert who always keeps an eye on real (as opposed to imaginary) user benefits, I ask myself, “seriously now…what good is Google?”  The question isn’t easy to answer!  As Oscar Wilde said, “Just because a man is willing to die for something doesn’t make it true.”

The Annoying, Space-Wasting Empty “Google” Search Page

Since the beginnings of the industry, screen real estate (like waterfront real estate) has always been at a premium.  The windowing technologies developed at the Xerox PARC laboratory (and subsequently commercialized by Apple and Microsoft) help users cope with the severe limitations of diagonal square inches.  Lately, the trend is towards larger and larger monitors (combined with smaller and smaller system units).  All this is fine with me. 

SO — why in God’s name would people set their home page to the Google search page, only a small percentage of which actually serves a useful and practical functional, and the bulk of which is occupied by 1) Google’s logo (occasionally playful and entertaining, but always large) and 2) lots of useless white space? 

I mean, I don’t love Yahoo that much either, but your typical Yahoo start page (my choice) is packed with information.  As I say to people (only “half-jokingly”), “if they drop the bomb, I want to know about it.”  Thanks to the latest user-configurable features, it’s easy to rearrange your home page so that the stuff you want to see (news, financial information, and yes, the search function) is “front and center,” whereas stuff you don’t want (links to Lady Gaga’s Blog, Astrology Charts, and so on) are down and out of the way.  Doesn’t it make sense to make the most of your home page’s functionality and utility?

I had one client (who turned out to be a bonehead) start telling me how he wanted less information on his home page, not more.  He soon drifted into La-La Land, describing the “serenity” of the Google home page.  I knew right then and there that this individual (who would probably have been better served by a Macintosh than a PC, in any case) was well and truly and fully hypnotized by The Google Phenomenon.  Or maybe he was drunk…

Is Google’s Search “Better” ???

Oh yeah?  Prove it to me!  Saying something is so doesn’t make it so, Picard.  Many fans actually think Google “invented” internet search, such is the power and ubiquity of Google’s brainwashing efforts.  Old War Horses like me remember that Digital Equipment Corporation’s “Altavista” web search actually pioneered in this area (back when the teenaged Google boys were jerking off to pictures of skyscrapers and luxury yachts), and today there are dozens of web search engines available on the net, many of which offer unique features and functions, such as security and privacy — something you surrender at the door and abandon without hope whenever you use Google search or Google apps. 

Google is pimping every single one of your mouse clicks out there on every street of the information superhighway, for sure.  Someone should create a sound bit that replaces the mouse click with a “ka-ching.”  Oh, right, Google’s done it, sorry. One time I overheard an Apple iPhone software developer telling someone what Google does with the so-called “private” information belonging to every “Gmail” user.  It was astonishing!  The horror!

There are even web search “consolidation” tools, like “WebFerret,” which do a shotgun search on ALL the available search engines (including Google), and provide all the results in one batch — surely more effective than Google alone.  But you won’t see anyone lavishing praise on “WebFerret.”  Who’s even heard of it?   

My experience is that one web search engine is more or less as good as another — it’s hit or miss — sometimes I’ll find what I’m looking for on Yahoo, sometimes I’ll try Google or Bing if Yahoo doesn’t come up with the goods, and as a last resort, I’ll try WebFerret.  A world in which Google is considered the “only” search engine is surely a dystopian nightmare world, like one in which Pizza (or maybe I should say “Liver”‘; Pizza is tasty) is the only available food.  Ugh!

Mass Commercialization of Internet Search

Remember that sappy commercial from the 1960s (created by “The Ad Council,” which my left-leaning Professors at Brown University taught me was an evil military-industrial-government propaganda machine, designed to inculcate individual citizens with a sense of guilt and responsibility for societal problems which were not, in fact, their fault)?  You know, the one where the Native American on horseback (who was probably some Yiddish Vaudevillian in red greasepaint) looks over the trashed landscape of America and sheds a tear?  Serious stuff, actually, but it was parodied by Wayne and Garth in one of the Wayne’s World films.

ANYWAY, we too can shed a tear over the trashed environment, and shed another one (while we’re at it) for the totally trashed “infosphere,” thanks to the crass commercialization of virtually every square inch of the internet.  Google’s been working on this for years, of course — day and night — but the problem has reached acute proportions.  I notice this inconvenient truth more and more whenever I perform historical research, an activity which, these days, is damn near a “subversive” activity.  Good little Google Androids (more on that gadget later) have one function in life: to buy things!  Thinking is only allowed if you’re “thinking about buying things,” and then only if you follow through!

I was recently trying to find some photographs and information on the “Hotel Walsdorf,” a small but charming hotel which operated in Cannes, France, in the 1940s – 1960s.  Read my lips: I was not looking for hotel accommodations on the Riviera.  I was not seeking cheap rooms, discount tickets, flights or cruises, or the best travel route, or restaurant listings.  But when I searched (I refuse to use the word “Google” as a verb) for the exact phrase “HOTEL WALSDORF,” I got 8,640,000 hits in .39 seconds, not one of which (trust me) actually related to my search phrase, Hotel Walsdorf.  In fact, “Hotel Walsdorf” appeared NOT ONCE, anywhere, in the links that Google served up!

In an ideal world, my search would have returned exactly ZERO hits, and I’d have tried something else.  But then how could the Google boys have extorted — oh, sorry, collected — a penny (or whatever it is) from every single one of those Advertisers (sorry, “sponsored links”) on the Google Advertising Pages (oh, sorry, Google Search Page)? 

That’s all bad enough, believe me, but the blind stupidity and irrelevancy of the returned links (“HOLIDAY INN –  HOTEL WINDSOR – DISCOUNT RATES!!!”) shows how hucksterism has utterly vaniquished real information on the internet; how sales and advertising and marketing is what the internet (or should I say internet search) is ALL ABOUT NOW, and what an idiot somebody like me is for thinking or hoping or believing it should be anything else.

This is truly grevious, in my opinion, and I know just who to blame.  In a balanced world, there would be a mixture of information and commercial opportunities on the internet, and one would know how to seek out one and filter out the other, depending on what one was looking for.  But in the Google dystopia (the word is so accurate that it’s worth using again), it is as though every single television show and movie presentation has been turned into an infomercial; every short story is a sound byte; every novel is a three hundred page sales pitch.  Content is filler.  Advertising is the content. 

The media isn’t the message, Marshall — the ads are the message.

Masterpiece Theater is trying to sell you vacation excursions to England, complete with airplane tickets, accommodations, and pub meals.  Jane Austen is now a stewardess on American Airlines, wearing a tight mini-skirt made of synthetic fibers and a mezza-mezza facelift.  Winston Churchill has morphed into W.C. Fields, offering you a chance to play “The Old Army Game” with him.  The Civil War has become an online video game multiverse, where everybody gets killed but nobody gets hurt.

That’s the new nightmare internet for you, thanks to the dark wizards at Google.  The hippies would have called it a “bad trip,” and (stoned or not) they’d have been right.

Google Apps

Let’s not spend too much time on these unnecessary, overhyped resource-hogs.  Some of us have work to do.

 

GMAIL: I suppose if you don’t like Hotmail, or Yahoo Mail, or Earthlink Webmail, or Comcast Webmail, or MAC OS X Mail, or AOL Mail, or Opera Mail, or Outlook Express, or Outlook, or Eudora, or Mozilla Thunderbird, or Netscape Mail, or Windows Mail, or Windows Live Mail, then you should definitely take a look at Gmail — with the aforementioned warnings about your web surfing habits (and God knows what else) becoming an open book as a result…

Google Desktop Search: Useless.  Tear it off, watch both your available free screen real estate and system performance improve instantly.

Google Toolbar: Useless.  Tear it off, watch both your available free screen real estate and system performance improve instantly.

Google Earth: Great Toy.  Way Cool.  Wow!  The cyberspace equivalent of the hula hoop.  Can’t wait for the 3-D version.  Is there a James Cameron in the house?

Google-Whatever-It-Is-They’ve-Come-Up-With-As-An-Alternative-To-Microsoft Office:  Get serious.

Google Android/Nexus/Etc:

“Another iPhone Knockoff.”
–Forbes Magazine

This one is SO easy.  Who needs it?  Who cares?  If you’re an iPhone kind of girl or guy (Madonna), get an iPhone.  If you’re a Blackberry kind of girl or guy (Obama), get a Blackberry.  If you’re neither (Joe The Plumber, or his wife), get an ordinary cell phone, an LG or Motorola or Samsung or Nokia or something (does it matter?), and leave the e-mail and web surfing and application tasks until you get home.  The Android is an answer to a question nobody asked.  It’s like Ralph Nader running for President, all it does is screw up the vote and help the bad guy win.

Of course, it seems, with Google’s ascendancy, that the bad guys have already won.

Google Chrome: Another fine answer to a question nobody, but nobody, asked.  I guess Google has to do something with all that spare change (anything beats paying one’s fair share of corporate taxes), so they develop unneeded and unwanted applications — like the climber who ascends Mount Everest “because it is there.”  The whole exercise reminds me of Disney’s Fantasia.  After the tremendous (and well-deserved) success of Snow White, Disney had a mid-life crisis and decided he’d shift from popular entertainment to “high-brow” entertainment.  He started wining and dining Stravinski, and when the film was done, Uncle Walt reportedly wept and said “This will make Beethoven.” 

Of course, Fantasia bombed.

In like manner, The Google boys want to “make” the web browser…as if Internet Explorer, Safari, and Firefox don’t have the web browser pretty well made…and the smart phone…as if Apple and Blackberry don’t have that product pretty well invented…and so on and so forth.  Google undoubtedly has a “genius” for what they do, but the monies earned from those quasi-nefarious activities don’t translate into genius, expertise, or aptitude in other areas; throwing heaps of money at a technical problem doth not create (nor equate with) inspiration — or value-added.

The diagnosis and prescription is the same as above:   Useless.  Tear it off, and watch your available screen real estate, free hard drive space, and system performance improve instantly.

The bottom line:  is the Web a better place, now that Google dominates it?  Really? Ask the Tibetans what they think of the Red Chinese, or the Native Americans what they think of Paleface.

Just An Ordinary Day…

A Job Well Done

From: (Two Happy & Satisfied Computer Guru Customers)
Sent: Monday, December 21, 2009 9:41 AM
To: ssalemi@earthlink.com
Subject: Guru Ultra Mini

Good morning all mighty Guru Steven… Pam and Joyce here.  We wanted to let you know that all went quite well with setting up the Ultra Mini.  All systems are go and we are totally pleased with the system’s performance and with all of the good, sound advice from you.

We will await your call or email when the other monitor arrives.  Also, we want to bring in a couple of laptops and see if you can’t bring them up to speed.

Thanks again for all of your help,

Joyce

BEST Buy? Read The Fine Print!

BEST BUY, MY FOOT

Best Buy has some bad policies…. normally, I would not share this with others, however, since this could happen to you or your friends , I decided to share it. If you purchase something from, Wal-Mart, Sears etc. And you return the item with the receipt they will give you your money back if you paid cash, or credit your account if paid by plastic.

Well, I purchased a GPS for my car, a Tom Tom XL.S from ‘Best Buy’. They have a policy that it must be returned within 14 days for a refund! So after 4 days I returned it in the original box with all the items in the box, with paper work and cords all wrapped in the plastic. Just as I received it, including the receipt. I explained to the lady at the return desk I did not like the way it could not find store names. The lady at the refund desk said, there is a 15% restock fee, for items returned. I said no one told me that. I said how much would that be. She said it goes by the price of the item. It will be $45.00 Dollars for you.

I said, all your going to do is walk over and place it back on the shelf then charge me $45.00 of my money for restocking? She said that’s the store policy. I said if more people were aware of it they would not buy anything here! If I bought a $2000.00 computer or TV and returned it I would be charged $300.00 dollars restock fee? She said yes, 15%. I said OK, just give me my money minus the restock fee. She said, since the item is Over $200.00 dollars, she can’t give me my money back!!! Corporate has to and they will mail you a check in 7 to ten days!!!

I said ‘WHAT?!’ It’s my money!! I paid in cash! I want to buy a different brand..Now I have to wait 7 to 10 days. She said well, our policy is on the back of your receipt. I said, do you read the front or back of your receipt? She said well, the front! I said so do I, I want to talk to the Manager! So the manager comes over, I explained everything to him, and he said, well, sir they should have told you about the policy when you got the item. I said, No one, has ever told me about the check refund or restock fee, whenever I bought items from computers to TVs from Best Buy. The only thing they ever discussed was the worthless extended warranty program.

He said, well, I can give you corporate phone number. I called corporate. The guy said, well, I’m not supposed to do this but I can give you a $45 dollar gift card and you can use it at Best Buy. I told him if I bought something and returned it, you would charge me a restock fee on the item and then send me a check for the remaining 3 dollars. You can keep your gift card, I’m never shopping in Best Buy ever again, and if I would have been smart, I would have charged the whole thing on my credit card! Then I would have simply canceled the transaction. I would of gotten all my money back including your stupid fees! He didn’t say a word!

I informed him that I was going to e-mail my friends and give them a heads up on this stores policy, as they don’t tell you about all the little caveats. So please pass this on. It may save your friends from having a bad experience of shopping at Best Buy It’s true! Read it for yourself!!

XP Is Dead, Long Live XP!

I still use Windows XP on my various home and business computers, and I still sell about 75% of my new (and refurbished) systems with XP installed.  But I like Windows 7 well enough — it’s pretty fast, and the 64-bit version (the only one I’d bother with) supports large amounts of system memory, well beyond XP’s 3.2GB limit.  The fact that Windows 7 is Vista-like in appearance makes one fear and tremble, however — like a Vietnam Vet who sees a palm tree in Beverly Hills and freaks out, thinking he’s back in the jungle. 

XP was such a solid product that it still doesn’t “feel old” yet, after all these years, although I can see that someday it will.  We all owe the Netbook phenomenon a debt of gratitude, because even though these tiny machines are quite limited in functionality and performance and usefulness (I think most people buy them because they’re “cute”), their arrival on the scene has extended the product lifetime of XP by years.  Nice work, Guys!

Microsoft annoyingly killed off a lot of good XP features when they developed Vista, and these much-missed features remain dead on Windows 7.  But gazing into the Computer Guru’s crystal ball, I can see that we’ll all end up on Windows 7 (or something like it) eventually, just like most people switched from records to CDs even though vinyl records had many advantages.  If you think it’s hard to fight City Hall, try Microsoft.

When you buy a new computer system from The Computer Guru, you needn’t choose whatever the local office or electronics store has to sell you — I can build you virtually anything in a matter of hours.  XP, Vista, Windows 7…even Windows 2000 or 98SE systems, if you insist!  The choice is yours.  And you can sit down before you buy and have a nice cozy chat with me about what operating system and hardware configuration/specification would meet your needs best. 

There’s no better way to find a great, affordable computer system that will really suit you.  More on why The Computer Guru’s systems are the very best in a later blog entry.  Kirk out.

Why Don’t You Offer On-Site Service, Guru?

The Computer Guru

The entire business and technical “model” for on-site service (as practiced by “The Geek Squad” and various Computer Guru competitors in Santa Fe) is flawed and deeply dishonest, misleading, and unworkable.  On-Site work may appear to be a “convenience” for the customer, but usually turns out to be a big rip-off instead.

Here’s why:

The typical or average computer system requires several hours of work to be put right — often an entire day, 6-8 hours, of bench time.  This work includes running repeated operating system and applications updates, and frequent, multiple virus and spyware scans, each of which must scan every single file on your computer — tens of thousands of files, several times over.  There is no such thing as a “quick” virus or spyware fix; it takes many hours of scanning and cleaning — like scraping the barnacles off the bottom of a very big boat. 

Same for the critical software updates needed to keep your system up-to-date, reliable, and secure — these, alone, can take hours to download and install correctly and completely.

When someone offers to come to your home and fix your computer, are they planning to stay all day and charge you for every hour — maybe join you for dinner, even?  Or (more likely), are they planning to perform a quick (inadequate, incomplete) fix for an hour or so, grab your money, and head off to their next job?  In which case, your problems will probably reappear in a few weeks, and you’ll be back to where you started?

By contrast, The Computer Guru puts your system on the bench, checks it out, and gives you a firm estimate for the work to be done.  Then I work on your computer for as long as it takes to make it perfect.  This isn’t unnecessary perfectionism or overkill — it’s absolutely necessary.  Because I can work on several machines at one time (unlike somebody who comes to your home), you pay a very fair flat fee, rather than a steep hourly fee, and the cost of repairing your computer is shared, if you will, among my many customers.

It’s a smart, sensible way of doing business, proven over the course of the last 12 years at The Computer Guru.  Welcome aboard!

Where Is The Computer Guru Located?

844 Agua Fria Street, that’s where — at the southeast corner of the intersection of Agua Fria Street and St. Francis Drive.  There’s plenty of free parking at the rear of the building.

How To Bring Your System In For Service

If you’re bringing a laptop (notebook) computer for service, bring the machine itself and don’t forget your AC Adapter and Power Cord.  If you’re bringing a desktop system, the tower itself is all I need, you can leave the power cord at home (these are standard, and I’ve got plenty here).  You can also leave your peripherals at home (keyboard, mouse, monitor, speakers, printers, scanners, cameras, etc.) UNLESS these items need service also. 

As for software disks, if you are having problems with the functionality of a particular software program, or peripheral (say, a printer), you might want to bring the associated software program disk, in case I need to reinstall it.  Windows System Disks (“Recovery” Disks or CDs)  are sometimes needed for serious repairs, although it’s not really possible to determine in advance whether these disks will be needed or not.  So, when in doubt, bring the disks along anyhow, or be prepared for the necessity of bringing these disks back if it turns out that they are needed after all.

If we do need the disks, but they can’t be found, new ones can be obtained, often at a very nominal price.

Welcome To The Computer Guru Website!

The Computer Guru offers the very best systems and service in Santa Fe.  I am open from 10AM to 2PM and 4PM to 6PM Tuesday-Saturday, closed Sunday and Monday.  I am located at 844 Agua Fria Street, close to downtown, at the Southeast corner of  the intersection of Agua Fria Street and St. Francis Drive, there’s plenty of easy free parking on-site.